Bunty, I must be retarded because I can't figure out what you just said.

Ditto!

Could you decipher in English please ?lol, Neither do I, but then sometimes I can't read my own writing.

Well, then, maybe good sense and retardation level can be measured on the extent of one's sex appeal, or lack of it.

A good purple goes 37 at midnight to hat the aglet.

That's not fair. I didn't use a strange word like "aglet".

The reason I'm saying all this though is to reassure you that there ARE guys out there that like us big girls exactly the way we are. They don't want to change us, they don't love us "in spite" of our size. Is this the way you thought of your ex? Did you love him "in spite" of his weight? I suspect that the answer to that is, "no". You probably didn't even give his weight a second thought because that wasn't what was important to you. It wasn't that "washboard abs" was at the top of your list of wanted qualities and you were willing to overlook that he didn't have that feature. I could be wrong, but I think that the condition of his abs was WAY down on your list of what you were looking for in a man, so the fact that he didn't have them didn't carry that much weight.


...Keep faith. You'll find the right guy that doesn't even think your weight factors into anything. THIS is the mindset that men need to get into. We need to reconfigure our priorities, just as we expect women to reconfigure theirs in order to accept us as we are. lol

Thanks Everyone for the great posts. I have to hope I can keep living my life the way I have chosen by being successful, confident, happy, and dependable and hope that someday a great guy will find me. I have tried dating sites, just getting out, singles groups, and I always get the same thing. That I am beautiful, funny, and they all want to be my best friends, I have lots of friends, but looking for something more.

Thanks Everyone for the great posts. I have to hope I can keep living my life the way I have chosen by being successful, confident, happy, and dependable and hope that someday a great guy will find me. I have tried dating sites, just getting out, singles groups, and I always get the same thing. That I am beautiful, funny, and they all want to be my best friends, I have lots of friends, but looking for something more.

You sound like a great person, doing all the right things. The right person will come along when you least expect it, I'm betting.

My recommedation to all singles is to just relax and have a good time. I was on again off again single for almost 9 years.

When you worry about it, you never meet anyone. When you just make an effort to stay busy and hang out with other singles (This means getting out of the house and living an active lifestyle.) people that peg your attractive meter seem to fall out of the sky.

Try some online sites. Join some singles groups that actually do something besides sit around complaing about the single life. Take sometime to sweeten the deal you offer to other singles. Join a gym, learn to cook, learn some new dance moves, volunteer, bottom line stay busy and do not picture yourself as forever single.

Is this the way you thought of your ex? Did you love him "in spite" of his weight? I suspect that the answer to that is, "no". You probably didn't even give his weight a second thought because that wasn't what was important to you. It wasn't that "washboard abs" was at the top of your list of wanted qualities and you were willing to overlook that he didn't have that feature. I could be wrong, but I think that the condition of his abs was WAY down on your list of what you were looking for in a man, so the fact that he didn't have them didn't carry that much weight.

THIS is the mindset that men need to get into. We need to reconfigure our priorities, just as we expect women to reconfigure theirs in order to accept us as we are. lol

You're correct, his weight wasn't a factor for me at all. I didn't even notice it, actually. It wasn't until after I left him that I gave it a single thought, and even then it was something that someone else pointed out to me.

Other than what I've said before, my only other advice would be to stop looking. Like others have said, get out there...be active...do stuff lol. You already know that you don't need a man to define you. It was my experience after my divorce (when I finally got the courage to start dating again) that the more I looked for someone, the worse the results were. I started thinking there was no such thing as a good decent man that would like me for ME. So I stopped actively looking. Can't not find what you're not looking for, right? The right man is going to come to you when he's supposed to. If it's tomorrow, great. If it's 2yrs from now, great. It'll happen when it's supposed to and not a minute before - and if you keep looking, chances are you're going to be disappointed (I know I was for a long time).

Good luck & keep us posted!

My recommedation to all singles is to just relax and have a good time. I was on again off again single for almost 9 years.


I'll second that. I stayed single until I was 36, and I wouldn't go back and be married if you paid me. I loved every second of it.

What does 'BBW' mean?

All this time, I thought I was hitting on 'Beautiful Black Women'.

"Big Beautiful Woman".

"Big Beautiful Woman".

I guess a BBBW would be a big, beautiful, black woman.

Personally, I am a COW (cranky old woman).

And I'm just a stinker!

I guess a BBBW would be a big, beautiful, black woman.

Personally, I am a COW (cranky old woman).


I love it! :-)

I'm a BUM

big ugly man


big more so as in tall

For the most part, being attractive is 90% attitude, 10% appearance.

Look at some of those Hollywood types: slender, curves in the right places, and crazy as can be! Wouldn't get near 'em with a ten-foot cattle prod...

Robert

I'd buy the both of you a drank! Now with that said, the BBW moniker is:
Big Beautiful Women.

Beauty does not equate to a size 4. Beauty is in the face, the way you hold yourself, your attitude and most importantly, what's in your heart.

Now then, again, BBW is not a catch all phrase for huge, unkempt ugly fat women.

All three of the letters must be applicable.

All three of the letters must be applicable.

Well, they sure do apply to me.... :Smiley259

ill love any wonmen dont care about anything

ill love any wonmen dont care about anything

Quit mumblin' and talk out loud.

ill love any wonmen dont care about anything

But will any woman love you? A lot of them most certainly do care about everything.

I thought BBW meant Big Black Woman. Seriously.

I smile everytime I read this thread. Nice energy.

I, too, thought it meant Big Black Woman or Big Boned Woman. Seriously.

Just learning more TLAs (three letter acronyms).

Well this will get me flamed like no other. But I find body weight a turn off like some of the women find lack of confidence issues a turn off.

The body is one of the only things you can really change about your appearance without spending thousands of dollars. It takes time and effort.

OU Adonis, I wish your post had a "Like" option. I'd click it.

No flame from me. Hard to ignore hardwiring.

There are all manner of things that can and do interfere with body weight. Glandular issues, medical limitations (messed up knees, back etc...), genetics etc....

I'm overweight. Not terribly, but I fight my weight constantly. I keep it to a respectable level by rigourous excercise and a near starvation diet. I have been totally vegetarian for the past 2 and a half weeks, been hitting the gym and my weight actually went up 2 lbs.

I have a friend who leads a totally sedentary life, never works out, eats large unhealthy meals and is 4 years older than me. Thin as a damn rail. Never has had a weight issue. It's really easy for people who are thin and in good shape to lambaste those of us who are not, but have a little bit of restraint when you condemn someone for "lack of trying". Many people are hardwired to be big.

In Africa, where food is scare, bigger is better. And is a sign of beauty. And wealth and prestige etc.... Here in America where food is abundant (and the wrong kind of food is King) it is a sign of slovenly disrepair.

Some people lack the time and resources to thin down to a size 4, or achieve a six pack abdomen. Case in point, consider the single parent who has a full time 60hr a week job, or two jobs even, with 2 dependent young children. This same person is predisposed to be "large" by american standards, either thru glandular reasons, or due to the inability to physically exercise rigourously. Consider also the time required weekly to achieve that size 4, or that washboard stomach. When you fall in bed at 11pm from working those two jobs and caring for the 2 small kids since 6am, precious little time is available to hit the gym.

The main problem is the junk azz food selection that we have here in america. Especially the MSG, or "natural flavoring" crap that is in virtually everything. Couple that with the low fiber and all the above gets you an overweight person.

Observation Rant off.
I'm off to lunch to spend nearly 20 dollars in search of a no meat, healthy meal. Grrrrr.

Eat Lettuce. It won't cost $20.00.

I'm off to lunch to spend nearly 20 dollars in search of a no meat, healthy meal. Grrrrr.

The one period in my life where I was healthiest and worked out the most, I ate Subway veggie sub twice a day. Was simple and brainless and on every corner. Boring for sure, which is why it doesn't work out for a married person.

It takes a ton of self control to eat that way. Every restaurant will take the meat out of their food... Veggie tacos at Teds with borracho beans, for instance. Chipotle veggie salad. Neptune veggie and cheese. Just take a ton of control not to order the food that tastes so much better. And that is where I fail, not all the time, but a lot of the time.

Unfortunately there are people who have an easier time maintaining a healthly weight. Some people are blessed with the "thin" Gene.

Life sometimes hands you a lemon. But just because you may have a harder time staying healthy does not mean you give up on it.

Some people are bad at math and have to work at it harder. That doesn't mean they should settle for an F.

And something I would like to add on the opposite side of the discussion. What is considered "Healthy" and what is considerd "Attractive" can be two different things.

Like in Penny's case. A 95 pound woman would/could be considered very attractive, but that would be off of what she really needed to be weight wise to be healthy (depending on her size).

I read somewhere awhile back that American Society finds women's weight unrealistic and they give most mens weight a pass. I.E a 200 pound man thats 6'1 is fine, even though technically its almost obese.

Sadly I do like thin women. Because in my mind I think "Fun, active". I do a lot of things outside and love to play in the summer time. So my mind assumes thin would be a better fit for me. And yes I am sure there is shallow thinking in there, but I can't help it.

Another thing about attraction. I can initially find a girl who may not fit my typical "Type" as attractive after talking to them/spending time with them. The same goes the other way. A very attractive woman can immediately lose that attractiveness when they start to talk and you find absolutely nothing in common with them.

I have a friend who likes bigger girls. He likes pretty faces and other things about big women attractive. And I don't fault him for it.

Makes for a great friend. We never get interested in the same gal :D

Better yet, love yourself and enjoy life. Everything in moderation. Meat's not bad, eating an entire side of it is. You can have pizza, just not the whole thing.

starving yourself is not how to lose weight. eating more smaller meals throughout the day is how to do it. keeps your metabolism working. when you eat less, your body stores more of the fat, not knowing when it will get any next. plus your metabolism slows way down.

There are all manner of things that can and do interfere with body weight. Glandular issues, medical limitations (messed up knees, back etc...), genetics etc....

I'm overweight. Not terribly, but I fight my weight constantly. I keep it to a respectable level by rigourous excercise and a near starvation diet. I have been totally vegetarian for the past 2 and a half weeks, been hitting the gym and my weight actually went up 2 lbs.

I have a friend who leads a totally sedentary life, never works out, eats large unhealthy meals and is 4 years older than me. Thin as a damn rail. Never has had a weight issue. It's really easy for people who are thin and in good shape to lambaste those of us who are not, but have a little bit of restraint when you condemn someone for "lack of trying". Many people are hardwired to be big.

In Africa, where food is scare, bigger is better. And is a sign of beauty. And wealth and prestige etc.... Here in America where food is abundant (and the wrong kind of food is King) it is a sign of slovenly disrepair.

Some people lack the time and resources to thin down to a size 4, or achieve a six pack abdomen. Case in point, consider the single parent who has a full time 60hr a week job, or two jobs even, with 2 dependent young children. This same person is predisposed to be "large" by american standards, either thru glandular reasons, or due to the inability to physically exercise rigourously. Consider also the time required weekly to achieve that size 4, or that washboard stomach. When you fall in bed at 11pm from working those two jobs and caring for the 2 small kids since 6am, precious little time is available to hit the gym.

The main problem is the junk azz food selection that we have here in america. Especially the MSG, or "natural flavoring" crap that is in virtually everything. Couple that with the low fiber and all the above gets you an overweight person.

Observation Rant off.
I'm off to lunch to spend nearly 20 dollars in search of a no meat, healthy meal. Grrrrr.

Excuses......... You either want to do what it takes....or you don't.

Excuses......... You either want to do what it takes....or you don't.

I used to walk 6 miles a day - got up long before dawn to walk 4, then another two after work. After the four mile walk, I got my kids of to school and went to work. I feel pretty confident to say that showed self discipine and dedication. But I have to also say, I couldn't have done that when they were smaller and it took a huge amount of dedication to do it when they were older and more autonomous. Boston, I don't know if you have kids but kids pretty much change everything. The world is not going to revolve around a parent's exercise regime, most of the time and if it does, you've got a seriously self indulgent parent. I'm not saying you can't get some exercise - and should - but when you have other responsibilities, it is a whole different ballgame.

The whole gland thing? Er, no. I just don't really buy it unless someone is really, really messed up. Some of us have a faster matabolism but I've talked to my doctor about it. Fat women came in all the time wanting him to tell them it was their thyroid or some other gland problem. It wasn't. Drove him nuts. He said women would come in and rather be told they were fat because they had a serious health condition than that they were fat because they were sedentary and ate too much.

And the fact is, studies show consistently (and I have seen this in my own life) that people vastly underestimate how much they eat. My feeling is that if I moved around as much as a kid did, I'd be skinny as a rail, too. Instead, I am sitting typing on this laptop. We've got obese kids all over the place. When I was a kid, the "fat" kid was sort of a token anomoly. There was one or two in each class and the poor things were teased unmercifully by the mean kids. Now, half the class is fat. What are these parents doing? In my guardian ad litem work, we had five year olds with high cholesterol and blood pressure. Insane.

But let me also say that there are simply different body types and not much you can do about them. Some women are just big boned or carry any excess weight on their hips or stomach. Nothing they can do about it and they'd have to starve to not have it there. I have friends who watch their weight and exercise and they are NEVER going to have a cute figure. It is just not how they are made. We all know about pears and oranges (body types) and how they indicate certain heath related propensities. As for me, for example, I couldn't put weight on my stomach if I wanted to. My daughters are the same way and so was my mom. But as soon as I gain weight, it goes straight to my bum. I lose weight, I lose my butt. Go figure. It also goes to my face. My best girlfriend gets weight stuck to her belly and upper arms. Nothing either of us can do about it. I can hide mine because it is the "traditional" shape. My girlfriend just looks kind of fat. Life is not fair.

Never said it was easy and never said having kids doesn't change things. I remember when I younger and gave the "I don't have time" excuse to my dad. He said, in so many words, "that's BS, make time". At the time I thought yeah right, just another saying. But in time I've realized it's the cold hard truth. Too many times it's easier to make excuses. We all do it, some of us just do it way more than others.

Sometimes you just have to make the time, do the extra work, sleep a little less, put down the cookies, don't drink the coke, stay away from the fast food places, and stay as active as possible. It's got to be more of a life change than a short term diet.

completely agree boston.

> Meat's not bad, eating an entire side of it is.
> You can have pizza, just not the whole thing.


Hey! Quit peepin in my windows!

:poke: at myself
I do need to get serious on the subject sooner rather than later.
But I readily admit, pulling nicotine out of the mix was way, way easier, for me, than making adequate adjustments to the comfort food addiction has been

"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon'."

--Ancient Swahili tribal poem (roughly translated)

never knew Sir Mix-a-lot was Swahili,...interesting.

I thought BBW meant Big Black Woman. Seriously.

Anyway, don't BBWs put on some kind of parties that guys can go to, if they want?

I'm a BUM

big ugly man


big more so as in tall

Then like me you can surely relate to these words of wisdom: "A slut is a woman who screws with everyone while a bitch is a woman who screws with everyone but you." To us, the world is full of bitches, not slults.

Excuses......... You either want to do what it takes....or you don't.

What's your greatest weight loss, Bostonfan? 10 lbs? 30 lbs? 100 lbs? And how did you lose that weight?

Anyway, don't BBWs put on some kind of parties that guys can go to, if they want?

I am seriously worried about you, Bunty. And aren't you gay? I thought you were. Maybe I am confusing you with someone else.

Late night post's are always interesting.. hahah

What's your greatest weight loss, Bostonfan? 10 lbs? 30 lbs? 100 lbs? And how did you lose that weight?

25 to 30 pounds. About 5 years ago I stopped running and working out. I started eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I started making excuses for myself and soon found myself out of shape and fat. I got back to running and watching what I ate. I've also really given thought to doing one of those P90X workouts, just haven't got myself motivated to do it, yet. Why do you ask?

Shoot. My weight fluctuates at least 35lbs to 50lbs EVERY YEAR. Up to 250 by thanksgiving or Christmas, then back down to 200 by june. It has been this way since I was an adult. I seriously think it has to do with Vitamin D and sunlight and the effect that it has on metabolism. I quit fighting it years ago. Instead, I invested in two wardrobes and just live with it. Luckily I gain weight all over my body, and not just my midsection.

My weight is currently on the way down. As it gets nicer outside, I'll be able to pursue my love of bowl skating (skatepark) and my magic 200lb number will be here in no time.

I wish global warming wouldn't have gone away. LOL (and we'll save discussion of that for any of the numerous threads in the POLITICS section of this forum)

Dave, that is a whole lot of weight swinging in a man. Check it out with your doctor.

Well, it's been going on for 25 years. I'm healthy as a horse according the doc. The only year it didn't occur was two years ago when we had the very mild winter and I skated daily right thru it.

Okay, good, then.

I am seriously worried about you, Bunty. And aren't you gay? I thought you were. Maybe I am confusing you with someone else.

My sexual orientation is of no relevance. I don't want a close relationship, like marriage, with anyone since, with all my imperfections in life, I'm not interested in being held responsible for someone else's happiness.

But anyway, the other day I felt my personal problems fade into total insignificance when I walked into Burger King and saw a man at the counter in a wheel chair. He had no legs, only a partial arm and on the other side, merely a useless hand that hung from his shoulder. It was somewhat of a struggle, but he managed to pay for his meal. At a table it was another somewhat of a struggle for him to eat. And I thought oh, no, what's going to happen when children come in, and so they did. As several of them walked by this man I watched them give him long glances. I was relieved that the children didn't react any more than that. The man was quite brave. I don't think I had ever seen someone so overwhelmed by birth defects, yet making it in public.

So when I'm depressed over my own imperfections, I think about that man and how truly and richly blessed I am to be in this world.

Bunty, that puts it into perspective.

I suspect the man is used to children asking questions.

You think it was a birth defect rather than an injury?