As for religion:

I think what I hate the most is how people around here use religion as a proxy for morality. Honestly, I think most people around here think that non-Christians are not to be trusted. That's so frustrating. Atheism is such a taboo around here. It's totally misunderstood. I do not need the threat of repercussion from God to treat people with dignity, or to have a strong sense of integrity. Christians who think a person needs the wrath and/or guidance of God to be decent or trustworthy need to take a deep look at the basis of their own morality.

I once told somebody here in OKC that I was an atheist and she covered my mouth as if to say, "You surely don't mean that. You can't say that here."

I just want to know what I can do to make some real friends who I can relate to, and who can relate to me.

I've been here for almost two years now and I still feel utterly alone. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

The people you just descrined are not Christians. They are simply church-goers who claim to be Christian, or in other words... hypocrite! And churches are loaded with hypocrites. But you will find good down-to-earth Christians who are truly knowledgeable in the faith will treat you with kindness and respect.

True Christians don't judge. True Christians don't hate. True Christians don't despise. Sure, they may want to pass a bible verse or two your way, but the true meaning of Christianity is knowing that people are not perfect but loving them regardless... very much in the same way that I know my children aren't perfect, but I will always love them regardless. I will always stick by my wife's side, and treat others with the dignity and respect they are entitled to.

Unfortunately, many people have forgotten the faith and just stuck to the religion.

the only bonfire I've ever been to was on the beach in los angeles.

The best bonfire I ever attended was on the beach in Hawaii.

We build a fire everytime we go camping. And we've had some nice ones. You should see what a large wooden wire reel looks when it burns. Really cool.

Christians are by nature tolerant of everyone. Why else would we be sitting back allowing the rest of the nation/religions run roughshod over us?

Try insulting the nation of islam and see what kind of muslim response you get. Or bash the jewish religion and see what kind of anti-semite discrimination lawsuit you get slapped with.

But you can rant about those damned presbyterians with virtual impunity! Why?

Tolerance. That's why.
I will simply turn the other cheek.

the only bonfire I've ever been to was on the beach in los angeles.

They have bonfires in Sapulpa! Check this OUT (http://www.sillimanonsports.com/BurnThisColumn.html)

Here's a couple of pieces of valuable Silliman advice:
1) Hang around with strangers.
73% of all murders are committed by friends or relatives of the victim.

2) To meet more atheists... join the Unitarian church

The key to having friends is to be good looking and have a keen sense of humor. Always be witty enough to say something funny. It works good, especially for getting friends with the opposite sex. If you have an ugly face and are boring, forget it.

:omg: That post is extremely disgusting and downright evil. It says a lot about you.

Speaking as a hetero female, a man with a sense of humor, self confidence and intelligence can get past an ugly face. Fat women, though? No chance unless alcohol is a factor or a dare is involved. A sad commentary but men are pretty shallow...

Oh course, then there are the women that would date a drooling boor so long as he is paying for dinner so I guess it comes down to the individual.

My dear ECO, men are NOT shallow.

We can be careless, superficial, insensitive, cruel and downright clueless, but we're not shallow.

8^)

Hey now ECO, There are some guys who are BBW chasers! I know several overweight ladies who are quite pretty. Beauty is definately subjective and it has a lot to do with the way a woman conducts herself and how she carries herself.

I'd much rather have a sweet and nice BBW than a nasty mouthy skinny chick any day.

Of course, I'm pretty deep..... ;)

I have always been most attracted to petite, green-eyed, short-haired blonde, southern gals...married a blue-eyed one.

Now that I am divorced...I still look for the kinda gal I am most attracted to.

The "eyes" will get me everytime...the "sober" kind.

Does that mean I am shallow?

:omg: That post is extremely disgusting and downright evil. It says a lot about you.

It's very much the truth. So once again, if one has an ugly face and boring, too, then forget finding a mate. Learn to accept yourself as your best friend and buddy.

So, we're only supposed to be friends with people who share the exact same political and religious ideologies, and who are basically clones of ourselves?

Bull.

Everyone on this board pretty much knows about my lack of religious convictions and we get along (for the most part) just fine.

Frankly, I think you don't want to meet people, and would just rather blame the location than yourself. We aren't all a bunch of gun-totin', Toby Keith supportin', gay-bashing uber-Christians in this state. There's a lot of diversity and culture, but if you are so narrow-minded that you think we're all a bunch of rednecks, then you'll never see that.

Because, when I think of a cultural, atheistic mecca, I think Ohio.

lol, But all I said was if one has an ugly face and boring, too, then forget finding a mate. Learn to accept yourself as your best friend and buddy. Honestly, bandnerd, are you anxious to meet anyone who is not just ugly, but boring as well?

ANYONE can find a mate, haven't you ever seen an episode of COPS :doh:

Now, where your standards are in relation to your looks and personality and their looks/personality is the determining factor in finding mate that you actually want.

On the surface it would seem that you would gravitate to the coffee shops and restarants that cater to the artsy types who are usually liberal and CERTainly open to the nonconventional. Try the Red Cup or Saused Annex as starting places.

I agree. Give them a try! Go more than once or twice..takes a bit to get the flavor. Younger ones go to sauced and it is a more varied mix at the Red Cup! Ask the counter help if Rena or Kat's mom (she is a manager there) is there (I am most weekends) and come have a cup of coffee with me.

lol, But all I said was if one has an ugly face and boring, too, then forget finding a mate. Learn to accept yourself as your best friend and buddy. Honestly, bandnerd, are you anxious to meet anyone who is not just ugly, but boring as well?

I was replying to the original poster, Bunty, not you. I should have quoted him in my response but it was such a long post that I neglected to do it out of laziness.

I'm not looking for a "mate," anyway...Mid's got that covered just fine and dandy.

But you quite evidently have a very bright, humorous and charming personality that works to draw people to you. Please understand that not all of us, though, can be that way.

But you quite evidently have a very bright, humorous and charming personality that works to draw people to you. Please understand that not all of us, though, can be that way.

:lame:

Try to watch Wonderful World (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0857275/) with Matthew Broderick.

But you quite evidently have a very bright, humorous and charming personality that works to draw people to you. Please understand that not all of us, though, can be that way.

To whom is this directed?

Thanks for the advice USG. I'll check those places out.

Move to the Paseo. You'll find plenty of people there with similar beliefs.

Hey everybody,


As for religion:

I think what I hate the most is how people around here use religion as a proxy for morality. Honestly, I think most people around here think that non-Christians are not to be trusted. That's so frustrating. Atheism is such a taboo around here. It's totally misunderstood. I do not need the threat of repercussion from God to treat people with dignity, or to have a strong sense of integrity. Christians who think a person needs the wrath and/or guidance of God to be decent or trustworthy need to take a deep look at the basis of their own morality.

I once told somebody here in OKC that I was an atheist and she covered my mouth as if to say, "You surely don't mean that. You can't say that here."

I just want to know what I can do to make some real friends who I can relate to, and who can relate to me.



i used to be a church person cos i felt like that i need some guidance from God or whoever, and i went to church cos i shared some of the value and wanted to associate with people who have the same value. But then i realised that people who went to church to in order to get protection, mentally, and they were reading the words between the book like' oh, we dont judge people;, but they judged people left and right by whether they go to church, whether they invested time and energy. After i figured that out, i was like that enough, that s definitely not what i want.

:lame:

Well, if the truth is lame, then the truth is lame.

To whom is this directed?

The second sentence does to myself and whoever sees him or her self as the same way. For the first sentence, just anyone one who seems very bright, humorous with a charming personality that works to draw people, or specifially sidburgess.

Bonfires are the best memory from growing up. I think they are mostly a small town Oklahoma thing. Gather all your friends in the country somewhere, start the bonfire, and drink some cold beer!

I'm coming to this thread a touch late but as a young-ish (I'm 33), gay man with left leaning politics and no religion to speak of - I can tell you it's entirely possible to have a fun, fulfilling life here in OKC.

I have an abundance of wonderful friends with whom I can have great conversation, and I have built up a lot of great memories over the years enjoying what the city has to offer with them.

I suspect if you graduated from Ivy League school, Oklahoma wasn't where you saw yourself upon graduation, and that may have a lot to do with the frustration and difficulty you find yourself facing. Relating back to my own post college experience - I had just moved back from France after two years, and the adjustment was brutal. I had just wrapped up my undergrad program, had no money in the bank, student loans that needed to be serviced, and the tech bubble had just burst. Meaning, I graduated into a recession, making an absolute misery of my job search. The basics should sound familiar...minus the France part.

Even though Oklahoma was home for me originally, my "plans" included everything except being here. Looking back, at 23 (and I offer this in the hope that it helps), I over-thought, over-wrought, and over planned just about everything. Getting through college successfully encourages precisely that - but many of the skills that help us after graduation, aren't those we get in the classroom, namely: empathy, humility and kindness. I would also add, quite simply, giving yourself permission to be okay. All that planning, and over analyzing, clouded me from seeing that my life was pretty effing amazing - and I had a tremendous amount to be thankful for. So, lemme think - a young, Ivy League graduate who just moved to a new city, starting out on life - and the future is bright, and long - sounds like you have it pretty good to me, man. In fact, I'd say you're golden.

So, if I were in your shoes, I would take a deep breath, tell myself it's going to be okay - and start seeking out activities that you enjoy, and be open to the people you meet who come across your path at this time. I think you'll find over time there's really no shortage, though true liberals may be fewer in number here than elsewhere.

Actually, I have found it's been enormously beneficial over the years to not be surrounded by people who are just like me, who are certainly no less intelligent, and many of whom are quite accomplished. The insights and wisdom that come from those interactions are enormously meaningful - and the truth is that the way we talk to ourselves, and about ourselves, obscures the tremendous commonalities we actually share. Americans are basically a nice, decent people wherever you go - Whether it's in Boston, or OKC.

Hope that helps... Bon courage.

Bonfires are the best memory from growing up. I think they are mostly a small town Oklahoma thing. Gather all your friends in the country somewhere, start the bonfire, and drink some cold beer!

No where near my best memories, but, um, :omg:! bonfires . mmmmmmm
:LolLolLol

Not sure which were more fun, those all day jobbies built bigger than a monster truck, or two, that took an hour or more to even think about beginning to collapse down, volunteer fire department out for the event, just in case, or the pinto sized fires set up outside of town ... where getting there could be its own adventure and getting home by daybreak might be even more.

mmmmmmmmmm, bonfires

mheaton, that was a very nice post!

mheaton, that was a very nice post!
I concur....

@PennyQuilts - hey, thanks, I feel your post reflected many of the same sentiments. Looking back, some of the perspective I have now would have been enormously helpful at 23, lol!

Leaving Oklahoma | OKG Scene.com (http://www.okgazette.com/p/12738/a/6449/Default.aspx?ReturnUrl=LwBEAGUAZgBhAHUAbAB0AC4AYQB zAHAAeAAslashAHAAPQAxADIANwAzADgA)

That's a great op-ed.

This thread makes me want to shoot & burn stuff.

Disclaimer: This post is not intended to get involved in the religion pissing contest that has developed.

Like most cities, it really depends on where you are going. I agree with the posts about the Paseo area. The closer you get to the city center, (especially around OCU and Midtown) the more open-minded people tend to be. The stretch on Western south of I-44 is also good.

Stay away from Edmond or any similar Stepford-like neighborhoods. Those tend to be ruled by the Minivan Majority and are quite conservative.

It just takes a little exploring.

Paseo?

Whatever.

Unless you're into middle-aged lesbians.

I am religious. My significant other is agnostic leaning atheist. Not all religious people are dumb enough to directly associate morality with our own particular belief system.

I am religious. My significant other is agnostic leaning atheist. Not all religious people are dumb enough to directly associate morality with our own particular belief system.

Why do you say "significant other?"

220

Sometimes when I read some of the comments on here, I just can't believe I'm from the same city. During my AP Government class at Southeast High during my senior year last year, my teacher asked how many of us didn't believe in God. About 10 raised our hands in a single class. The generational thinking is so vastly different that it alarms me. Why do people care at all if your athiest, gay, or whatever? I don't see why you shouldn't be meeting open-minded people everyday. Where in the city are you living?