# Civic Matters > Ask Anything About OKC >  How to meet people in OKC?

## bchris02

I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte.  I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me.  However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte.  The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people.  I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts.  I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years.  I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff.  So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.

I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte).  I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte.  I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way.  How else is there to meet people in this city?  I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte.  Maybe its better here and need to face my fear.  Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.

Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche.  For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?

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## zookeeper

> I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte.  I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me.  However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte.  The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people.  I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts.  I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years.  I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff.  So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.
> 
> I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte).  I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte.  I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way.  How else is there to meet people in this city?  I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte.  Maybe its better here and need to face my fear.  Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.
> 
> Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche.  For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?


Making new friends can be tough for guys at any age. Have you tried pubs? I don't mean the "club scene" or even the "bar scene" but neighborhood pubs where you can sit around and join in a conversation easily and meet new people. I find Oklahoma City extremely friendly in that area. Just something to think about. It's also easy to go alone, because so many of the others are alone as well, after work, lunch time, etc. Don't feel like you have to order alcohol either. They're really just good spots for simple food and good conversation.  Good luck!

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## Pete

Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd.  Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there.  :Smile:   And I'm not kidding in the least.


Where do you live?  If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc.  It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.


Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials.  Same goes for many other museums and galleries.

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## bchris02

> Making new friends can be tough for guys at any age. Have you tried pubs? I don't mean the "club scene" or even the "bar scene" but neighborhood pubs where you can sit around and join in a conversation easily and meet new people. I find Oklahoma City extremely friendly in that area. Just something to think about. It's also easy to go alone, because so many of the others are alone as well, after work, lunch time, etc. Don't feel like you have to order alcohol either. They're really just good spots for simple food and good conversation.  Good luck!


No, I have not.  I have always been nervous about going to a bar/pub alone.  Is there any specific places you would recommend?

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## bchris02

> Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd.  Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there.   And I'm not kidding in the least.
> 
> 
> Where do you live?  If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc.  It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.
> 
> 
> Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials.  Same goes for many other museums and galleries.


Thanks for that suggestion.  I'll look into the OKC Museum of Art thing as well as Skinny Slim's.  I live in the Gaillardia area by the way but am willing to drive to downtown OKC.  I know its not optimal for my age but I have my reasons for living up here and am stuck for at least another year.

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## Roger S

I can't really give any good advice here but I can sympathize with you as a fellow introvert.... Lived here 34 of my 44 years and to this day don't really have a circle of friends. I have a few acquaintances that I share activities with occasionally but even in a crowd of people I'm generally by myself.

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## BBatesokc

I was single until my late 20's and fairly convinced I wasn't going to get married any time soon. Then, a co-worker set me up on a blind date and four months after that date I proposed - so, there is hope!

I worked so much up to that point that my 'friends' were often limited to those I worked around and those friendships seemed to be mostly limited to when I was at work.

I found that simply staying active in the things I enjoyed led to meeting people with similar qualities and likes. When I tried to force it (like going to churches I wouldn't have otherwise gone to, or going to bars when I'm not a 'bar person' only led to disaster). Even met one or two people online and those were total nightmares.

My wife and I are pretty social now and my closest friends were either met in our YMCA classes, are longtime classmate friends or I met professionally. From those relationships often new introductions are made and our circle expands.

Just do what you like doing and start doing more of it so that you are exposed to more people. If you're a good person and available (for friendship or relationship) then others of the same status will naturally find you. At least that's how it always worked for me.

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## soonerguru

> Thanks for that suggestion.  I'll look into the OKC Museum of Art thing as well as Skinny Slim's.  I live in the Gaillardia area by the way but am willing to drive to downtown OKC.  I know its not optimal for my age but I have my reasons for living up here and am stuck for at least another year.


Gosh, this explains a lot. Not a good place to be for a young single person.

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## boscorama

If you're a dog person and don't have a dog, get one. People seem to be drawn to dog walkers.

Otherwise, please know that significant others often emerge from the darndest of places and situations.

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## Plutonic Panda

> I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte.  I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me.  However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte.  The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people.  I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts.  I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years.  I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff.  So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.
> 
> I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte).  I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte.  I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way.  How else is there to meet people in this city?  I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte.  Maybe its better here and need to face my fear.  Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.
> 
> Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche.  For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?


I'm the same way man. After I left my friends in Dallas, I really haven't made very many friends here :P I still have a few friends down there I talk to and occasionally visit and a friend I met on Xbox Live and he lives in Jacksonville lol Hopefully I might meet some people in college. But all in all, I'm not too social. Luckily I have family. I can't imagine what it is like for you though, your friends are all the way in Charlotte and no family here(from what you've said). 

Are you looking for a female partner or just friendship? If you're active and and looking for women to meet and date, there are some really smokin hot girls down at the Bricktown Climbing Gym and I've gotten a few of their numbers. Haven't really got any further than that, I'm shy and that is likely reason, but you could try there. Maybe yoga? People at the gym seem to be pretty friendly and the sauna is a good opportunity to start a conversation. 

As much as it pains me to say it, being more pro-suburb, people in urban areas such as Midtown, Deep Deuce, Uptown, ect. seem to be more socially open to new friendships and more active than people in suburban areas, at least from what I've noticed. The problem with Edmond, is to really become friends with people, you kinda have fall into their category of an "ideal" friend as to people in Midtown are more open minded and willing to be friends with a wider category of people. That's just my 2 cents though.  :Smile:

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## poe

I, too, was a very introverted person until my last few years of college.  Growing up in Arkansas as an only child, I was very close to my parents, and I thought that being anything different from what they wanted me to be (married, children, church-going, etc.) was wrong.  When I moved to Texas to finish school, I began to surround myself with people from all walks of life, and I was introduced to different cultures, backgrounds, and orientations.  I also began to participate in school activities, community events, and social scenes, which eventually led me to meet plenty of people.  I also learned not to take myself too seriously.  

I agree with all the comments on here.  I'd like to say one thing, though: don't try too hard to meet people.  As long as you like yourself, they'll naturally gravitate towards you.  I also love the "pub" suggestion; it's always nice to find a place you like and can become a "regular" with the staff.  For me, it was Chili's in Amarillo (sad, but true).   :Smile:

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## bchris02

Thanks for all the replies this far!  I wish this part of the forum had a 'Like' button.    To clarify, right now I am really just looking for friends and not a dating relationship.  I'll definitely have to check out the OKC Museum of Art and Skinny Slim's as well as anything else suggested here.

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## betts

Have you tried the "meet ups"?  My son is in the same situation, although the move was just from Norman. Since they're designed for people who want to meet other people, I would think everyone is open to making new friends.

Meetups near Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - Meetup

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## bchris02

> Have you tried the "meet ups"?  My son is in the same situation, although the move was just from Norman. Since they're designed for people who want to meet other people, I would think everyone is open to making new friends.
> 
> Meetups near Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - Meetup


Like I said, I have a very bad experience with those when I lived in Charlotte.  I may give them another try here but I am somewhat nervous about it and therefore haven't tried it.

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## betts

Sorry, I must not have read down far enough to see your comment about meetup.  My son hasn't said anything negative about them here. How about joining some volunteer organizations that are more likely to have people your age?  I know there's a younger person's branch of Making Oklahoma City Beautiful.  Volunteer organizations are a good way of meeting people because you're working together rather than trying to make casual conversation. I bet there are some volunteer organizations that have concentrations of younger people in them. Join Urban Neighbors and bowl in their league.  Go on the moonlight bike rides downtown.

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## Mr. Cotter

Based on the replies, it seems like we could start an OKCTalk introvert club.

I'm also 28, but married with no kids.  My wife and I stick out in any church we've visited here, too.  I work with a people my parent's age, and anyone younger works for me - so work relationships are limited to work.

I really like OKC, but we're all a bit too spread out to just bump into new friends.

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## catch22

You seem to share a lot of interest with people on this forum...

Why not start there. I have several friends I have met on OKCTalk who are now very good friends of mine. Come to H&8th next week, ill be there and I'm sure many other OKCtalk people will be there.

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## catch22

And while we're thinking of downtown festivals... There is one every Friday except months with 5 Fridays. Good places to interact with people of a similar mindset and interests.

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## bradh

Do you play sports?  When my wife and I moved here in January 2009, we didn't know a soul here either.  My wife eventually became great friends with some coworkers, but at first, we flew "solo."  I signed up with COASL (Central Oklahoma Adult Soccer Leagues) as a single player, got put on a team, made friends there.  My wife started playing indoor soccer with some guys I played outdoor with, and we made friends through that.  

If you're into the arts and what not, you can look into the Overture group with the OKCPhil.  My wife and I just joined that as well.

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## bradh

Oops, just read the part of your first post about not liking sports.  The 2nd part of my post would be more fitting for you then.

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## foodiefan

. . .Overture would be a great direction to look as well as OKCMOA.  Also might want to head down for the Friday Art Walks in the Paseo as well as events in  the Plaza District.   Think Lyric has a group especially for younger supporters as well.  You might try calling Alllied Arts and asking for a list of the groups that have groups for the younger crowd.  Church related, but into the arts. . .check St Luke's/Poteet Theater.  Don't give up!! :Smile:

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## Pete

> You seem to share a lot of interest with people on this forum...
> 
> Why not start there. I have several friends I have met on OKCTalk who are now very good friends of mine. Come to H&8th next week, ill be there and I'm sure many other OKCtalk people will be there.


Very good points.

Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.

Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.

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## catch22

> Very good points.
> 
> Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.
> 
> Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.


And one good thing about meeting people through this forum is: there's a lot in common. I'm typically a pretty reserved person and don't start conversations usually. But knowing common ground is easy to get things going.

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## kevinpate

Drive down S Robinson
Pull to the curb.
Offer 20 for a guided tour of the area.
Pull into a vacant parking lot.
Count to 12
At 11, tell your guide she can leave
At 12, turn to your left, open your door and say 'Hi Bbates, nice camera.'

Or you could just go to H&8th or do a First Fridays art walk ( First Friday. The Paseo Arts District )

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## adaniel

All good suggestions, and I really don't have much to add.

Since you went to church, I am assuming that you are somewhat religious. It doesn't surprise me you had issues with the churches you went to. I would suggest looking into some churches closer to the city center. I will plug my own, PeoplesChurch. It is very diverse and welcoming. As a 27 year old single male, I have NEVER felt ostracized because of my relationship status. I have also heard good things about FrontLine as well. 

That brings me to my next point. I hate to bring this up, because I feel you can't discuss a baloney sandwich on here without it disintegrating into a city vs. suburbs shouting match. But in the long run, I think you need to relocate deeper into the city. Not necessarily even Midtown, Deep Deuce, etc. but everything that will help you meet others is going to be located either DT or very close to it. One thing I learned being a transplant from a larger city is that in OKC, outside of Norman, there are no suburban type areas that are going to attract a lot of young and/or single people (i.e. Addison in Dallas or Galleria area in Houston). I have posted on here in the past that I felt very isolated when I lived off of NWX, and have since moved to midtown. 

All in all, don't give up on OKC just yet. Outside of being an OU alum, I am none of the stereotypical "okie" things. And yet I have found my niche here. It took me some time but eventually it happened. While I don't always care for some of the social or political aspects of life in OKC, people here really are quite nice and sociable. In the mean time, come out to Cocktails on the Skyline at OKCMOA Thursday or H&8th this Friday and just mingle around. I always strike up a conversation or 2 when I am at both places.

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## Urban Pioneer

> Very good points.
> 
> Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.
> 
> Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.


I agree.  Maybe we should do those more often just for kicks.  I'd gladly meet up with you for coffee or something.  My GF lives on the north side and I have absolutely no friends up there.  lol. And yeah, H&8th is great (just getting seriously crowded).

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## WilliamTell

I know you arent into sports, but what about the gym (and it will also help you with women)? 

The problem you are running into is that its hard to pick up other dudes (as friends) in a non creepy way, so your going to need to get into some re-occurring activity where a natural conversations take place and where you see the same people over and over again. At all the gyms I've been in in I've found it hard to not to get to know anybody since the same people work out about the same time each day. You ask someone for a spot or ask for advice and over the span of a month or two you will find some new drinking buddies.

I'm married, but alot of the guys at the gym are single like yourself and probably looking for a new wingman to hit the town with.

Im going to get heck for this - but if you are looking for women, go to the club and hit on a fat chick. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH HER (or it will kill everything), over the next few weeks casually give her a text or call on the weekends and ask where they are at (since women always travel in packs). Meet up with her and just keep on talking to her as a friend, she is bound to have atleast a few decent friends. Easiest way to meet women is through other women.

Its the same thing as the attractive woman who has a group of guys who follow her around because they want to be her 'friend'. She uses them as tools to meet better men and keeps them as rainy day insurance.

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## Teo9969

Also...a random random random suggestion that probably should not be heeded:

Pick up a second, night-time service-industry job that you do like twice/three a week...make a little bit of extra money for as long as you can stand working there, and then just meet the different people and see if anyone has similar interests. Always a lot of young people, many who are completely useless, but always usually at least a couple of cool, balanced people.

But only do this if nothing anyone else has mentioned is working.


...Also...don't be afraid to start the conversation. The odds you get someone telling you to go away are next to none. Worse thing that usually happens is the conversation goes nowhere, and you just float to the next group of people. Being introverted, I can only usually make it through two to four groups of people before I'm done...but if something sticks, great!

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## Teo9969

When you go to bars, be open to talk to older patrons. They usually tend to be more open in getting multiple people involved in the conversation, and people our age who are also struggling to start conversation are more apt to feel like they can jump in the conversation without "butting-in".

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## Urban Pioneer

A couple of us gym out and yeah, it is a reasonable way to meet people on a recurring basis.

 Saints is the other place some us go.  That's a real neighborhood Public House.  McNellies can be ok although Saints is the s**t some nights without being too crowded.

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## bradh

The gym is a great place.  Easiest way to start a conversation at the gym?  Comment on someone's shirt.  One of our best couple friends we met at the gym because he commented on my wife's shirt from when she worked at Travelocity.

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## soonerguru

> The gym is a great place.  Easiest way to start a conversation at the gym?  Comment on someone's shirt.  One of our best couple friends we met at the gym because he commented on my wife's shirt from when she worked at Travelocity.


For some reason, this made me chuckle. I can imagine a scenario wherein a woman is wearing a shirt at the gym with some type of print emblazoned across the chest and saying, "Nice shirt." This kind of game wouldn't work for everyone.

 :Smile:

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## bradh

Haha, yeah it could be read that way, I've just used it as a common ground conversation starter.  Saw a guy wearing a Lucero shirt, and I love that band and we talked for a bit.  Some people have commented when I wear Arizona State gear, either saying they've lived there or or have questions.

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## KenRagsdale

This is excellent advice.  
If possible, move to an area south of I-44, east of May Avenue, west of Broadway Extension and north of Downtown.  I live in the area, and it's crawling with young, professional people; some married, others not.  I would go so far as to say, older, married, birds-out-of-the-nest folks such as myself are the exception, rather than the rule.

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## Teo9969

> This is excellent advice.  
> If possible, move to an area south of I-44, east of May Avenue, west of Broadway Extension and north of Downtown.  I live in the area, and it's crawling with young, professional people; some married, others not.  I would go so far as to say, older, married, birds-out-of-the-nest folks such as myself are the exception, rather than the rule.


Urban Core is definitely where to be. bchris, if you can afford to rent in Crown Heights, that's definitely the direction I would go.

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## AP

> Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd.  Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there.   And I'm not kidding in the least.
> 
> 
> Where do you live?  If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc.  It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.
> 
> 
> Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials.  Same goes for many other museums and galleries.


I've had the same problem moving to OKC, and the very first place I went was Skinny Slim's. Great place, awesome staff, and cool people. I'm there now probably 4 nights a week, so just shoot me a PM and maybe we could meet up.

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## JayhawkTransplant

1) Move, as mentioned above, to a more social neighborhood
2) Get a dog and go to the dog park a few times a week
3) Join and get active in a professional organization related to your industry
4) Take a class in something that interests you.  Francis Tuttle has a ton of that I want to take.  Class Offerings

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## bradh

> 3) Join and get active in a professional organization related to your industry


This is a great suggestion.  If you work in O&G then YPE would be a great option.

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## foodiefan

sorry, can't let this pass. . .a couple people mentioned getting a dog.  If you already have a pet, then heading to the dog park is a great idea.  But. . .getting a dog solely as an avenue to meet people is just wrong. . .and unfair to the dog.  Please think twice about this!!

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## catch22

> sorry, can't let this pass. . .a couple people mentioned getting a dog.  If you already have a pet, then heading to the dog park is a great idea.  But. . .getting a dog solely as an avenue to meet people is just wrong. . .and unfair to the dog.  Please think twice about this!!


Because I'm sure the dog would much prefer being in a shelter awaiting death.

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## bradh

> Because I'm sure the dog would much prefer being in a shelter awaiting death.


Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same

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## foodiefan

> Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same


this. . . plus,  catch 22, I don't remember there being a caveat that it be a shelter dog.

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## JayhawkTransplant

I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...

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## foodiefan

> I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...


well. . .yes!!! one would think. . . .on both fronts!!

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## boscorama

> I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...


Whew! Thought it was just me.

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## tomokc

My wife and & I have made great friends in our respective fitness groups, and they "cross-pollinate" very well when we socialize. I'm a cyclist and she's a runner. We've found that cyclists & runners are happy people, outgoing, involved in their community, optimists, and always looking for something new and interesting to do. Last night I rode with a small group out of the Paseo for 28 miles, and we had dinner afterwards at Paseo Grill (but we usually go to Sauced for $3.50 spaghetti). Over dinner we discussed the first Friday art walk in the Paseo, galleries, last week's OKCMOA exhibit opening, travel to Italy & the UK, downtown architecture, interesting things in our respective jobs, a relay race involving Spokies bikes, etc. During the ride we encountered one of my wife's colleagues on her bike. 

There are a lot of good people on the roads.

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## oki

> Im going to get heck for this - but if you are looking for women, go to the club and hit on a fat chick. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH HER (or it will kill everything), over the next few weeks casually give her a text or call on the weekends and ask where they are at (since women always travel in packs). Meet up with her and just keep on talking to her as a friend, she is bound to have atleast a few decent friends. Easiest way to meet women is through other women.


That's horrible. Besides, some "fat" women are pretty, curvy, HOT, and personable and intelligent. Some "skinny" women are ugly, b**chy, boney and starving with issues, so thin they look like boys, dumb, or have no personality.  It's terrible to hit on anyone you have no attraction to just to get their friends.

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## oki

> Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same


True.

People are tempted to get puppies, realize they aren't for them, then send the grown dog back into the shelter. That gave them a few more months of life... and a broken heart after they were good dogs to you now you abandoned them back in the scary shelter.

Getting a dog is seriously a 10-15 year long commitment.

That long term of a commitment is longer than some marriages, and not the ideal thing for a young single bachelor not wanting to get tied down.

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## oki

While Gallardia might be mostly family or old people, I know at least half a dozen young single bachelor's who live in that neighborhood.

You'd be surprised that it's not all old people out there. A few Thunder players live there, and I know a guy who's a 26 year old single childless dogless bachelor and lives there. Meeting there is a bit trickier. Have you tried playing golf? Jogging around the neighborhood and saying hi to younger people? Getting involved in the HOA or neighborhood crap? 

And, yes, OKC does feel "young, married, with kids" for sure. 

The average age to get married here and have kids is much, much younger than the West/East Coasts.  

I suggest young professional groups and there's a few Meetups here I've been to that were really pleasant. I'm not sure what happened at your NC meetup, but some of the meetups here revolve around special interests -- books, dogs, wine/dinner, etc. There's no dating involved, and the Meetups I've been to are surprisingly friendly. It takes work to force yourself to be social at these things, but it's a start to "feel" like you have local friends. I will say that I don't think Meetups are the way to make close friends. You don't see the same people at each event-- people come and go, people don't always come, some people come once or twice then don't come for 6 months to an event.

Meetup lets you meet people, but I haven't found close friends out of that. Too large a group, too random of people coming or not coming to any event, etc. 

I seriously suggest putting a Craigslist ad up not saying your gender or singledom and looking for a tennis partner, dog walker, something specific. 

What kind of churches are you into? A know some single people in their late 20s who seem to like their churches and could ask for recommendations.

And, moving to make friends? Seriously? Gallardia is a nice neighborhood with a lot of perks. Who would move just to make friends? I wouldn't.

I live in the suburbs too. It's clean, classy, convenient, and quiet. No way, no how would I move to somewhere like the Paseo just for friends or "young people stuff." Some of that area is still sketch. The houses are old, and some need total renovation. Plus the traffic, noise, and part of those historic areas just look run down (or are run down). You should've seen those areas 10 years ago. They're much better now, but not "there." I wouldn't live there. I don't care for older, sometimes overpriced houses when I can get a nice new house that's larger or has more upgrades with neighborhood amenities in Edmond or Norman. If there's some event, bar, or "hip urban" restaurant I want to go to, yes, I'll have to drive away from my suburbs for it.  But, for average daily life socializing, there's plenty to do in the suburbs-- it usually involves restaurants or shopping.

I would also try to expand your outlook on friends needing to be right at your age or being single, childless, etc. This is Oklahoma, after all.  There's plenty of old people and married people. While I don't think it would be easy to be BFFs with a 70 year old or a parent of a 7 year old, meeting people of different ages can help a person have a wide perspective and hear interesting stories. I have friends my young age and 92 year old friends.

If you're into any kind of sports, I would suggest getting into a group for golf, frisbie, hiking, whatever it is. Sports clubs tend to have a lot of young people, and let's face it-- someone who's aged or has tons of kids/wife probably doesn't have much time to play frisbie. 

So, what are your special interests?

----------


## oki

> Urban Core is definitely where to be. bchris, if you can afford to rent in Crown Heights, that's definitely the direction I would go.


I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc..  Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison. Some Crown Heights homes are nice, yes, but the nice ones are often overpriced for their square footage and age. Plus, many need big $$ in renovations, older homes have much more maintenance and repairs to do, it's not as quiet in CH and there's more traffic, CH homes are usually smaller than what you can get for the same money in the suburbs, etc. CH homes also are more likely to have detached garages. Detached garages are not fun... defeats the point of having a garage in the first place so you don't have to walk through rain/snow to your car. Historic homes tend to have fewer bathrooms, smaller closets, etc.  Plus, they tend to have master bedrooms upstairs with no private master bathroom-- who wants that? And who wants to share a small bathroom with their kids? Most people around here want the master bedroom downstairs plus a few kid's/guest bedrooms upstairs, as well as a huge master bathroom with modern features like double vanity sinks, rainfall showers, jacuzzi tubs, etc.

Long term, if the OP ever has kids, no way would he want them to attend the public schools near CH. He would have to spring for private schools, or move out of Crown Heights. 

Old homes just aren't everyone's taste. Some people see the charm in 50 or 100 year old kitchens and bathrooms and floors, houses close together, etc. I like 'em younger and new. New houses you can build exactly what you want and not have to deal with repairs all of the time like with old houses. And, yes, I've lived in old houses before. Nightmare. 

New suburban homes aren't everyone's taste either, granted, but the suburbs offer shiny, new, quiet, clean, and nice amenities. Large master bedrooms, large master bathrooms, custom kitchens, and all of the things people like now with less maintenance.

----------


## betts

Personally, if I wanted new, I'd build a house in SoSA.  Close to all the action, great restaurants, etc.  If I wanted older and charming, Edgemere or Crown Heights are very nice.  For rentals, tons of young people in Deep Deuce and Midtown.

----------


## andrew3077

> I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc..  Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison.


I'm not sure how old bchris is, but my roommate and I are 23 and we're renting a duplex in Crown Heights and absolutely love living steps from Western. Golf course, schools, large master bedrooms, etc are huge amenities in Gaillardia. But if I don't have kids, a family, and I don't need all that room, it's pretty fun living across the street from the sip and the Drum Room. If anything, we would prefer to go with less space and get a midtown/DD apartment but the rents are just too high right now. My parents built a brand new house in the westmoore area, and I definitely see the value in new construction/suburbs if you're into that, especially for raising a family, etc. But that's not where I'd want to be if I was young. I don't need the space, and all the fun's happening in the inner city!

Back to the original question, have you done Red Coyote's Pack Pint Runs? Free 5K's every thursday and free beer afterwards! Also I'm about to head to h&8th with some friends, tons of people to meet!

----------


## boscorama

> I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc..  Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison. Some Crown Heights homes are nice, yes, but the nice ones are often overpriced for their square footage and age. Plus, many need big $$ in renovations, older homes have much more maintenance and repairs to do, it's not as quiet in CH and there's more traffic, CH homes are usually smaller than what you can get for the same money in the suburbs, etc. CH homes also are more likely to have detached garages. Detached garages are not fun... defeats the point of having a garage in the first place so you don't have to walk through rain/snow to your car. Historic homes tend to have fewer bathrooms, smaller closets, etc.  Plus, they tend to have master bedrooms upstairs with no private master bathroom-- who wants that? And who wants to share a small bathroom with their kids? Most people around here want the master bedroom downstairs plus a few kid's/guest bedrooms upstairs, as well as a huge master bathroom with modern features like double vanity sinks, rainfall showers, jacuzzi tubs, etc.
> 
> Long term, if the OP ever has kids, no way would he want them to attend the public schools near CH. He would have to spring for private schools, or move out of Crown Heights. 
> 
> Old homes just aren't everyone's taste. Some people see the charm in 50 or 100 year old kitchens and bathrooms and floors, houses close together, etc. I like 'em younger and new. New houses you can build exactly what you want and not have to deal with repairs all of the time like with old houses. And, yes, I've lived in old houses before. Nightmare. 
> 
> New suburban homes aren't everyone's taste either, granted, but the suburbs offer shiny, new, quiet, clean, and nice amenities. Large master bedrooms, large master bathrooms, custom kitchens, and all of the things people like now with less maintenance.


Renovating in Crown Heights could lead to places like Lowes, Habitat for Humanity, where people with similar interests or situations gather. Garage apartment? Find a tenant you like, who has decent friends.

----------


## Pete

> Personally, if I wanted new, I'd build a house in SoSA.  Close to all the action, great restaurants, etc.  If I wanted older and charming, Edgemere or Crown Heights are very nice.  For rentals, tons of young people in Deep Deuce and Midtown.


Yep.  This might be my semi-retirement plan.   :Smile:

----------


## CuatrodeMayo

LOL @ oki.

Hilarious.

----------


## adaniel

The OP lives in an apartment by Gaillardia, not the actual neighborhood. Those are some alright apartments but I doubt they have the baller status interiors that oki outlines.

I don't want to bash suburbs, but I have been in the OP's shoes. Living in the suburbs as a young, single person and especially as a transplant is an incredibly isolating experience. My year living off of NW Expressway was the most mind numbing things I've ever gone through, despite having a very nice apartment. Living in midtown I can honestly say I am never bored. Who cares if you have nice appliances and lots of space for your nonexistent kids if you are miserable and lonely. I mean Kevin freakin Durant and all his millions _moved out_ of Gallardia into Deep Deuce... that alone should tell you something. 

I said it before earlier, OKC does not have pockets of nightlife in the suburbs for younger and/or single people like larger cities do (i.e. Addison in Dallas), unless dancing with the cougars at Groovys or or fist pumping at Fox and Hound is your thing. And its okay if it is, its just that there is so much more deeper in the city. You pay for better access to both work and fun living in the city. To a lot of people, that's worth it.

----------


## oki

> The OP lives in an apartment by Gaillardia, not the actual neighborhood. Those are some alright apartments but I doubt they have the baller status interiors that oki outlines.



I don't think anybody likes NW Expressway, or apartments in general.  :Big Grin:  

The OP has an apartment? That sucks. I thought he was a balla' in Gaillardia. 

If he's just renting some apartment somewhere, then he should have easy access to young people right now-- young single people often live in apartments. Apartment complexes have gyms, pools, movie theaters, and other crap to socialize in. Young people are often poor(er) or don't want long-term commitments (home ownership) and congregate to apartments. Try grabbing a beer and knocking on a neighbors door in your apartment. 

If the OP owned a Gaillardia swanky bachelor pad, he could have some nice parties out there in a house and all of the amenities. What apartment complexes are even out by Gaillardia? Sucks he can't play golf out there or enjoy those amenities. 

Since he doesn't own a house and apartments suck in general, there's no long-term real estate property value to worry about, maintenance costs associated with old historic homes, school districts, or all of those headaches. In that case, he could bounce around and try out different apartments without dropping a few hundred thousand or more and hoping some neighborhood stays "hip and chic" for urban young adults later on. In that case, he could try the apartments by Hefner, Quail, or something to get easier access to "hip" places while maintaining the nice comforts of the suburbs. If you don't own where you live, you can move whenever you want relatively easily... and move again if you don't like it with minimal financial consequences. That changes everything for him.

If the OP just moved here from some other city, I could see how that could be isolating regardless of his neighborhood. Especially since a lot of people here grew up here. OP, have you tried going to lunch with co-workers or getting to know people over drinks after work? How about Habitat for Humanity or some charity? OKC Young Professionals? 

I've lived in huge mega cities and small cities before I moved here. I'm suburban. I'm young. I've lived in urban high-rise apartments and suburban houses. I still would prefer nicer interiors to old run down outdated "historic" homes that are a few feet from each other. I get how this city sometimes isn't the easiest to meet single, childless people. Meetups, Young Professionals, work, church, charity groups, or sports groups are just about the best way. Or post a Craigslist platonic ad about something you're into (basketweaving, beer, whatever) and seek out a friend that way.

I guess I've become an Okie enjoying my nice new affordable homes with tons of closet space, yards, garages, nice clean huge Target stores, shopping malls, easy free parking, relatively less traffic, and huge rooms. Those things (ok, and the relative slow pace and friendliness) are the entire reason I find OKC attractive and appealing. If I wanted to live in an overpriced tiny urban loft and have to walk everywhere, fight traffic all of the time and spend hours to find parking, deal with break-ins and crime, have noise from bars and nightclubs nearby, have no yard or green space to enjoy, and hear my condo/apartment neighbors and deal with all of that crap, I'd move back to NYC. Or Tokyo. Or somewhere to get the "real" urban living benefits if I had to deal with all those headaches of overpriced, noisy, trafficy, tiny, hassle-riddled urban living in tiny apartments or aged outdated overpriced townhouses. 

Yes, I have to "drive" to bars or nightclubs away from my suburbs. That's how I roll, anyway. I wouldn't want bars, nightclubs, etc. near my house-- noise, drunks, non-sense. I prefer work, shops, restaurants, and normal nice daily life stuff to be convenient to me. I don't want to have to fight traffic or see bars or deal with urban lifestyle issues daily. I can have my fun on the weekends if I want to branch out, and enjoy my nice quiet modern kitchen with appliances and tons of closet space too.

If you want to really party it up downtown and drink all night, yes, you're stuck taking a cab from the suburbs-- unless you have someone driving you there. That would be a perk about living near a bar downtown-- you could drink then walk home. Nice.

Sometimes it would be nice to live next door or in the high-rise above a restaurant, movie store, grocery store, etc. again. But, really, all of those things are less than a 5 minute drive from me anyway. I prefer my nice single family home where I don't have to listen to all that noise, deal with the crowds, traffic, and other crap that high-rise living or crowded "hip" neighborhoods mean.

I can see how the suburbs can feel all "mommy and me" and be awkward as a single bachelor. But there are more single people in the suburbs than one might think... you just have to find them. Oklahoma overall marries very young and has kids young compared to the rest of the country. That's noticeable whether you live downtown or in the suburbs. There are still some of us holding out though. 

The average age for women to get married in Oklahoma is 24. For men it's 26. Yes, that's an Oklahoma (and similar states) thing. 
Compare that to age 30 and age 34, respectively, in New York. Yes, I notice it feeling like "everyone" in Oklahoma is married. 

You can be just as isolated in an urban loft apartment in a downtown Manhatten high-rise as you can be in a suburban house if you don't get out there and keep trying to meet people the right way. Seriously, I've lived in both. The urban neighborhood itself doesn't magically bring you friends-- you have to go outside and do crap. Preferably fun crap. I'll grant that about the suburbs tending to have either old people or people with kids. But, there's still some young people in most neighborhoods... even in actual Gaillardia. When you come across people who don't fit your niche (married with kids), try again with others. In neighborhoods, your best bet is either to knock on neighbors doors and invite them to a BBQ or go introduce yourself. Yes, plenty of them will have kids. Maybe that's not the worst thing ever. If you're in an apartment complex, even better. Apartment neighbors are more likely to be younger and childless than people who own homes here. Have a BBQ on your balcony or invite them over for drinks. The first party will be awkward with few people showing up. You might even be sitting there alone the first few times. Special interest groups, charities, and the like are really the way to go to meet people. Meeting people in a bar doesn't generally make for long-lasting, meaningful relationships anyway. Three words: special interest groups. Or, bring your neighbor a beer. (Make sure your neighbor isn't a 100 year old woman first. Unless she's into beer...)

If the OP has an apartment, there must be plenty of other young people there. Seriously, knock on a door some evening and bring your neighbor a beer. Or houseplant. Or linger in the hallway and say hi to passerbys. If the apartments out there aren't ghetto, you could even live your door open during the 5 p.m. "rush hour" when everyone is heading home and act like you're doing something by he door (cleaning out an entry closet?) and say hi to neighbors as they walk by.

----------


## oki

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married: 

*Average marriage ages:*

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon: 
26-28

Rhode Island: 
28

----------


## PWitty

> No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married: 
> 
> *Average marriage ages:*
> 
> Oklahoma:
> 24-26
> 
> New York:
> 30-34
> ...


Where did you get those numbers? I googled it out of curiousity and the ones I found were lower for New York. But essentially OK was about 1-3 years younger than the rest of the country not counting DC. Yeah OK was one of the 5 youngest, but all the states are pretty grouped up. I think it's just something that people think about and bring up when they talk about OK and now everyone accepts it as fact. I mean heck TX was only about a year older on average and nobody ever talks about everyone in Dallas and Houston being married. The way I see it, all the girls in OK are just so attractive that all the guys feel like they have to snatch them up before they lose their chance  :Wink:  Just my 2 cents though. 

Live Science

----------


## JayhawkTransplant

> Back to the original question, have you done Red Coyote's Pack Pint Runs? Free 5K's every thursday and free beer afterwards!


Can you tell me more about this? I looked on Red Coyote's website and saw a graphic for this, but no details about when/where. Does everyone just meet at the store at a certain time and take off from there? Is there a good mix of running abilities? I run 3-5 miles every day but have never been very serious about my time...I go as fast as my dog feels like going that day.

----------


## bluedogok

> No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married: 
> 
> *Average marriage ages:*
> 
> Oklahoma:
> 24-26
> 
> New York:
> 30-34
> ...


I guess I skewed that because my only marriage was when I was 39, met plenty of women in their mid-30's who weren't married as well and not all of them were divorced with kids. They are out there but may not be as easy to find, at least one that is worthwhile. My wife was 38 and never married (albeit living in Austin) when we married.

----------


## OKCretro

Lived in okc all my life, would never suggest anyone move to "south Guthrie" or oki calls "Edmond".  Place is a ghost town are 8 pm.

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## OKCretro

Oki, if you think ch homes are overpriced you should do a little research and see how much your developer bought your entire neighborhood 10 years ago when there was nothing but a field and then you should see which sq ft is absurd.  
Would rather have a house that has character than a house that looks like the exact same all of my neighbors have. McMansions are overrated and overpriced....

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## boscorama

> Lived in okc all my life, would never suggest anyone move to "south Guthrie" or oki calls "Edmond".  Place is a ghost town are 8 pm.


AKA North Edmond.

----------


## Pete

BTW, we have another OKCTalk event planned for October 3rd.

Most of those attending are pretty reserved but also friendly.  It seems everyone interacts very well, especially since we have this board and it's topics in common.

Great place to meet people with similar interests:

http://www.okctalk.com/announcements...y-oct-3rd.html

----------


## bchris02

First of all I want to say thanks for all the responses in this thread.  I had an elaborate response typed up at the end of last week but then got a blue screen on my computer before I submitted it and lost it :/ lol.  

I was of course out of town this weekend so I didn't get a chance to make H&8th (though I really wanted to), but think I may face my fear and give the meetup option a try.  Also, thanks, Pete, for posting about the new OKCTalk event.  I may try to make that as well.  I am really looking for friends at this point and not so much a romantic relationship.  To the person who suggested the craigslist platonic section, have you ever seen it?  There isn't much "platonic" about it.

Regarding downtown vs suburbs, I think living downtown would be cool but it isn't an option for me for at least another year. I know where I live isn't optimal for my age and marital status, especially here.  I am hoping though I can make it work until I am able to move.  When I lived in Charlotte I lived in the suburbs and made it just fine, and it wasn't in a young hotspot either.  There, it seemed like there were more single twentysomethings living in the burbs than here, but it was also far more common for people in their twenties to be unemployed or underemployed and living with their parents out there than it is here (great points for OKC in that area).  Here, most educated twentysomethings have good jobs and can afford to live downtown.  

As far as the early marriages, I think what's the most noticeable is the social pressure to pair up and settle down young here.  Out in Charlotte, a lot of people married in their early/mid twenties, but there were plenty who didn't and it didn't seem like as many questions were asked if somebody wasn't ready for marriage by age 25.  Maybe that's an Edmond thing though and not as big of an issue in the core as adaniel says.

As far as the Red Coyote thing, I would love to do that, but I have to get in shape first.  I am hoping by next spring...

----------


## WilliamTell

Bchris - you seem like a.nice kid, so I will say this nicely. But you wont meet new people until you stop living.in the past and putting off life until everything is.perfect ( moiving, fitness, etc)....

You could live in Norman next to a sorority house but if you make excuses about why you can't do something then location ( or anythibg else) isnt going to.matter.

----------


## bchris02

> Bchris - you seem like a.nice kid, so I will say this nicely. But you wont meet new people until you stop living.in the past and putting off life until everything is.perfect ( moiving, fitness, etc)....
> 
> You could live in Norman next to a sorority house but if you make excuses about why you can't do something then location ( or anythibg else) isnt going to.matter.


That's definitely good advice.  Sometimes I am bad about living in the past and putting off decisions.  However, moving downtown isn't an option for at least another year.  There is simply no way I can make it happen without destroying my financial security.

----------


## betts

I'm going to re-remind you to join Urban Neighbors and bowl in their winter league.  I've subbed a few times and there are definitely a lot of young people in the group.  You don't have to be a good bowler, and it's less awkward to meet people when you're doing something than standing around trying to think of things to say at a bar.  Membership is definitely available for non-downtown members.  They've got socials too, once a month at a different downtown spot.  This month it's at Urban Roots in Deep Deuce.  The socials don't always pull in the younger crowd, but everyone is very friendly and you just never know where you'll meet a friend.

----------


## DaveSkater

> I know you arent into sports, but what about the gym (and it will also help you with women)? 
> 
> The problem you are running into is that its hard to pick up other dudes (as friends) in a non creepy way, so your going to need to get into some re-occurring activity where a natural conversations take place and where you see the same people over and over again. At all the gyms I've been in in I've found it hard to not to get to know anybody since the same people work out about the same time each day. You ask someone for a spot or ask for advice and over the span of a month or two you will find some new drinking buddies.
> 
> I'm married, but alot of the guys at the gym are single like yourself and probably looking for a new wingman to hit the town with.
> 
> Im going to get heck for this - but if you are looking for women, go to the club and hit on a fat chick. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH HER (or it will kill everything), over the next few weeks casually give her a text or call on the weekends and ask where they are at (since women always travel in packs). Meet up with her and just keep on talking to her as a friend, she is bound to have atleast a few decent friends. Easiest way to meet women is through other women.
> 
> Its the same thing as the attractive woman who has a group of guys who follow her around because they want to be her 'friend'. She uses them as tools to meet better men and keeps them as rainy day insurance.


Well hell, fat chicks need love too, and they appreciate it more. No seriously!  :Wink: 

I'm a firm believer of the YMCA. Join a class such as body pump, or aerobics.  Golf courses are fun too. Do you live on the Gallardia course? Get a golf cart and some clubs and chill at the hole 19 club (they all have one) hit a few range balls, practice on the putting greens, sit at the bar and people will strike up conversation with you from the first minute. I've met a lot of people skating, but that's decidedly not for everyone.......

----------


## bchris02

> I don't want to bash suburbs, but I have been in the OP's shoes. Living in the suburbs as a young, single person and especially as a transplant is an incredibly isolating experience. My year living off of NW Expressway was the most mind numbing things I've ever gone through, despite having a very nice apartment. Living in midtown I can honestly say I am never bored. Who cares if you have nice appliances and lots of space for your nonexistent kids if you are miserable and lonely. I mean Kevin freakin Durant and all his millions _moved out_ of Gallardia into Deep Deuce... that alone should tell you something.


Is there any suburban areas that have more younger, single people than others in this city or do I pretty much have to live downtown?  For instance, if I lived in Norman, would I have any better luck?  I am not necissarily looking to be right next door to bars and nightlife, just in an area of town where I am more likely to meet other single people like at church for instance?  I want to say again I am not looking for a dating relationship at this time, just friends.  Far NW OKC is extremely family oriented and I think living out here is part of the problem.  Mind-numbing properly describes the experience I've had this past year.  I support downtown as much as the next guy, however my family tells me they won't come and visit me if I live downtown and being close to family is one of the primary reasons I live in OKC, so it would be nice if I could find somewhere that is still suburban but more single-friendly than NW OKC.

Can anybody on here who is religious recommend churches that have active singles groups for people in their 20s, besides Crossings?  I have seen PeopleChurch recommended, which I haven't tried yet but plan to soon.  Any others?

----------


## Pete

You don't have to move all the way downtown, just closer in.

Why not somewhere around Penn Square?  Close to everything on Western and easy to get downtown without living there.

I know lots of younger, single people that live in Putnam Heights, for example.

----------


## bradh

Your family won't visit you if you live near downtown?

----------


## bchris02

> Your family won't visit you if you live near downtown?


Yes.  They are country people and are still living in the '80s and have the perception of downtown areas of large cities as nothing but homeless people and drug addicts.  When I lived in Charlotte I wanted to take them to a restaurant downtown but they refused to go.  That is another topic though.

----------


## Just the facts

Bchris02 - You need to live where there is an active public realm and you won't find it in suburbia because it is by default 'private'.  Sadly, OKC still doesn't have many options for people to spend unstructured leisure time in the company of strangers; no plazas, urban parks, sidewalk cafes, etc...

----------


## KenRagsdale

The experience bchris had with his family re: avoiding the inner city is common.  In the past, my wife and I have attended parties/social functions in Edmond.  When we shared the fact we lived in the inner city, there was a common look of horrifying shock.  Based upon the subsequent discussion, it's my belief many suburbanites believe spouse and I are engaged in running gun battles with gangs, drug dealers and other assorted "bad guys" each time we leave the house.

----------


## stlokc

OK - Here's my BIG caveat: I've never lived in OKC as an adult. 

But I did move to St. Louis, MO a dozen years ago and didn't know a soul beyond a few college acquaintances. I just can't believe that two biggish midwestern cities would be that far apart in their realities. So, here's what I did, take it or leave it:

I joined the local alumni chapter of my college, Mizzou. I don't know where you went to school, but in a city the size of OKC I guarantee you there is an alumni chapter. If there's not, your college will be thrilled to help you start one. I don't care if you went to Vermont Polytechnic, there are at least a dozen other alums in OKC. Maybe hundreds or thousands in the case of a Big 12, Big 10, or SEC school. These alumni organizations live for social events, watch parties, or if you're not into sports, lots of them do service projects. I've made countless friends through MAA.

Alzheimer's is a disease that is prevalent in my family, I called the local chapter and lo and behold, they had a "Young Friends of the Association" group that was struggling for members and publicity. They had monthly meetings, I started going to the meetings, we put on fundraisers, do publicity for the Association. Maybe you have a particular interest in cancer or heart disease, I don't know. If it's not a disease, there is some kind of charity that trips your trigger. It's universal, every single arts or health related non-profit is literally crying out for involvement by young people. Most of the arts organizations in STL have "Young Friends" groups, I just have to think it's the same in OKC. If not, start one and you'll be the hero. 

I also got involved in local politics. If you have a favorite candidate or cause, they would welcome you with open arms. That's not everybody's schtick, but it worked for me when it comes to meeting people. 

Also, I got involved in my industry (advertising). Again, I just have to think that there are young professional organizations related to whatever it is you do for a living. 

Contrary to popular belief, you are probably not going to meet a wide group of soul mates at a bar. Church? Well, maybe, I'll leave that up to you. But I guess my point is, when you're an adult, friends don't just materialize the way they do when you're a kid. You have to decide to go out and make it happen. I think figuring out 1 or 2 or 3 of your interests and focusing your energies in that direction is the way to go. Worked for me. Again, St. Louis is bigger than OKC, but OKC isn't exactly Ponca City. Some variation of this is going to work for you, if you want it to. 

The other thing about this approach is that it isn't completely geographically oriented. Although, I do think living in an area with young people, whether downtown or not will help you. I think as a young (ish) single person, I wouldn't live north of about 63rd street. But, personal preference. Good luck!

----------


## bradh

I think myself and someone else mentioned the industry organization earlier in the thread, that's a good place to start.

----------


## soonerguru

> Is there any suburban areas that have more younger, single people than others in this city or do I pretty much have to live downtown?  For instance, if I lived in Norman, would I have any better luck?  I am not necissarily looking to be right next door to bars and nightlife, just in an area of town where I am more likely to meet other single people like at church for instance?  I want to say again I am not looking for a dating relationship at this time, just friends.  Far NW OKC is extremely family oriented and I think living out here is part of the problem.  Mind-numbing properly describes the experience I've had this past year.  I support downtown as much as the next guy, however my family tells me they won't come and visit me if I live downtown and being close to family is one of the primary reasons I live in OKC, so it would be nice if I could find somewhere that is still suburban but more single-friendly than NW OKC.
> 
> Can anybody on here who is religious recommend churches that have active singles groups for people in their 20s, besides Crossings?  I have seen PeopleChurch recommended, which I haven't tried yet but plan to soon.  Any others?



Your family won't visit you if you live downtown???? WTF? WHY???

That is insane.

You're not going to find something suburban and single friendly. And if crime is your family's concern, Downtown and Midtown are safer than most of the close-in neighborhoods are. 

You need to do what is best for you. You're still young but you're old enough that you shouldn't put off experiencing what is great about being young and unattached.

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## bradh

I'd call your parents bluff, it's an empty threat I bet.

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## betts

Frontline Church appears to have a bunch of young members.

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## bchris02

> Your family won't visit you if you live downtown???? WTF? WHY???
> 
> That is insane.
> 
> You're not going to find something suburban and single friendly. And if crime is your family's concern, Downtown and Midtown are safer than most of the close-in neighborhoods are. 
> 
> You need to do what is best for you. You're still young but you're old enough that you shouldn't put off experiencing what is great about being young and unattached.


I agree with all these points.

My parents are stuck in an 80s mindset that downtown = crime and there really isn't anything I can do or show them to change that.  It isn't that abnormal of a mindset for somebody who came of age during that era.  Downtown Charlotte is much more revitalized than downtown OKC currently is and doesn't feel unsafe at all, but they wouldn't even set foot there.

I also agree that I am still young but the clock is ticking.  I don't have as much time to waste as I did at 21 or 22.  That kind of has me depressed about this entire thing and having done pretty much nothing this past year other than work.  I left an awesome life and group of friends, and terrible job in Charlotte for a great job here but no life after I clock out.  My lease where I live now runs out next June, but that's almost another year away.

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## bradh

What industry do you work in?  There's got to be a professional organization you can join to meet some people.

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## betts

If your parents won't visit you downtown, you can just visit them. If they won't come downtown it doesn't mean you can't see them. I have the reverse problem.  My kids don't particularly like to come back to OKC to visit, so I go visit them.  See if you can sublet your apartment.

If you don't particularly like sports, see if there's a kickball league in town.  Those are usually co-Ed and mostly social.  Take an evening class at one of the colleges or vo-tech schools in something interesting and unrelated to your career.  I met my husband at one of those and made a close friend by taking another. Join everything you can find to join and go.  Volunteer for everything you can find.  I think ULI has a young professionals group - join that.

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## adaniel

That is really unfortunate that your parents are like that. My own parents were quite concerned when I told them I was moving to midtown. But they trusted my judgement that I would not put my own personal safety in jeopardy. Maybe you should discuss this fact with them. After a few visits my parents actually love my area. 

I am with soonerguru on this. _Your_ life, _your_ decisions. If they want you to live outside of where you want to live then they can pay your rent. If they are too petrified to visit you, then they can stay at a hotel off Memorial and you can meet them wherever. Just like you said, you are not getting any younger and time's a tickin. It would be a tragedy for you to limit yourself because your parents have an outdated hangup. Just my 0.02. 

Also, stlokc posted a very good response and I hope you read it. Moving to downtown or nearby means that you have much better access to certain things that younger people frequent, but it will be up to you to do the heavy lifting of actually getting yourself involved.

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## Bunty

> The experience bchris had with his family re: avoiding the inner city is common.  In the past, my wife and I have attended parties/social functions in Edmond.  When we shared the fact we lived in the inner city, there was a common look of horrifying shock.  Based upon the subsequent discussion, it's my belief many suburbanites believe spouse and I are engaged in running gun battles with gangs, drug dealers and other assorted "bad guys" each time we leave the house.


But aren't at least homeless people begging for money a big nuisance, though?  I hear they're getting more aggressive and don't like taking no for an answer.

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## kevinpate

> But aren't at least homeless people begging for money a big nuisance, though?  I hear they're getting more aggressive and don't like taking no for an answer.


I am not in the city a lot, but when I am I haven't noticed an uptick in panhandlers being insistent. I am seeing more instances in Norman overall than I did in the past, primarily at the convenience store/bus station and the newer, larger pump number gas stations, e.g., newer 7/11s, OnCue. Not aggressive, but also not shy of going pump to pump to pump. 

It's been a long time since anyone gave me any attitude for a respectful no.

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## bradh

No, they just make up some BS story about beating cancer and being on the streets.  It's actually pretty bad walking back to your cars or place of residence in midtown.  They kinda stalk you.

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## CuatrodeMayo

> But aren't at least homeless people begging for money a big nuisance, though?  I hear they're getting more aggressive and don't like taking no for an answer.


Give a firm "no" and keep walking.  They will move on and find a more receptive target.  I live, work, and recreate in the inner city and I 've never had a problem.

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## betts

The difference in point of view is interesting.  My son was living in Norman and I talked him into moving to Midtown.  It was pretty fun/ny bumping into him as we were both walking between Auto Alley and Midtown.  It's kind of like a small town.  I haven't encountered panhandlers anywhere but if they're becoming a problem in Midtown let Meg Salyer know.

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## CuatrodeMayo

> My parents are stuck in an 80s mindset that downtown = crime and there really isn't anything I can do or show them to change that.  It isn't that abnormal of a mindset for somebody who came of age during that era.  Downtown Charlotte is much more revitalized than downtown OKC currently is and doesn't feel unsafe at all, but they wouldn't even set foot there.


Honestly, in my experience, that attitude is surprisingly common among those that have lived in the metro for more than 20 years.

My wife and I are raising our family in the inner-city.  I have friends who are doing the same whose parents are long-time residents of the burbs.  We have been the recipients of subtle and not-so-subtle hints about our choice of neighborhood.

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## kevinpate

bchris, my lovely has a friend who alternates being in worship groups at Lifechurch NW and Lifechurch south.  The NW LC is at 5821 NW Expressway which by the street number would put it a bit east of the NW Expressway and N MacArthur Blvd. intersection.  Her understanding is LC appeals to a lot of younger singles. Never been there, so I can't confirm or deny.

As for your folks, I get it.  Mine didn't like to come to Norman. We often met them in OKC when they came to OKC, and sometimes I wouldn't even know they were coming until they were in OKC. They'd come in for some mtg. or another, decide to not drive back to se ok, and tell us to come on up and have dinner and visit and get in some grandbaby time.  I sometimes thought they had convinced themselves our Norman roads were chock full of bratty sloshed college drivers. The reality though is if we went to OKC, Pops could call it a night when he was tired and wouldn't need to drive afterwards. He wasn't really a mondo night driver anyway, so it was all good. When we could stay, he was prone to add a room to his tab, and Mama could grandbaby her heart out as late as she wanted. 

Back to meeting people.  You have to get out. If doing so isn't as natural as breathing, that's a tall order for you. Sports, Arts, Music, anything that puts you with others, preferably interacting and not alone in a room of 40 strangers. Been there, done that, though long, long ago now.

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## bradh

> Honestly, in my experience, that attitude is surprisingly common among those that have lived in the metro for more than 20 years.
> 
> My wife and I are raising our family in the inner-city.  I have friends who are doing the same whose parents are long-time residents of the burbs.  We have been the recipients of subtle and not-so-subtle hints about our choice of neighborhood.


This is exactly right.  My wife and I have lived here for 5 years, and while we live up near where bchris lives, we take advantage of everything all areas of the city has to offer.  We enjoyed PremiereOKC on Friday.

Our neighbors, same age as us (early 30s), grew up in Edmond and the PC North area, and don't give a rats ass about anything south of 63rd.  They've never enjoyed any of the new restaurants or bars in midtown/downtown other than McNellie's.

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## soonerguru

> This is exactly right.  My wife and I have lived here for 5 years, and while we live up near where bchris lives, we take advantage of everything all areas of the city has to offer.  We enjoyed PremiereOKC on Friday.
> 
> *Our neighbors, same age as us (early 30s), grew up in Edmond and the PC North area, and don't give a rats ass about anything south of 63rd.  They've never enjoyed any of the new restaurants or bars in midtown/downtown other than McNellie's.*


Reading this explains a lot about some of Oklahomans' general backwardness, insularity, and basic lack of curiosity about the world. 

Thank God we at least have an alternative to that now, one that is growing and improving. Without it, our city would wither on the vine. 

Cities need to be competitive, and the total suburban model is not popular with Gen Y. Again, thanks to our citizens and leaders for having the foresight to create an urban alternative.

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## soonerguru

> I agree with all these points.
> 
> My parents are stuck in an 80s mindset that downtown = crime and there really isn't anything I can do or show them to change that.  It isn't that abnormal of a mindset for somebody who came of age during that era.  Downtown Charlotte is much more revitalized than downtown OKC currently is and doesn't feel unsafe at all, but they wouldn't even set foot there.
> 
> I also agree that I am still young but the clock is ticking.  I don't have as much time to waste as I did at 21 or 22.  That kind of has me depressed about this entire thing and having done pretty much nothing this past year other than work.  I left an awesome life and group of friends, and terrible job in Charlotte for a great job here but no life after I clock out.  *My lease where I live now runs out next June*, but that's almost another year away.


Is there any way to get out of your lease? If so, what would be the penalty? If you're in a corporate apartment community, does the community have a downtown location, such as Legacy? Just wondering about your options.

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## bchris02

> Is there any way to get out of your lease? If so, what would be the penalty? If you're in a corporate apartment community, does the community have a downtown location, such as Legacy? Just wondering about your options.


There is no way out of my lease. I didn't think though about transferring complexes. The closest to downtown apartment the company has is at 30th and Villa, just north of Shepherd Mall. Even that may not be possible and I am not sure whether that is a safe area or not.

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## soonerguru

> There is no way out of my lease. I didn't think though about transferring complexes. The closest to downtown apartment the company has is at 30th and Villa, just north of Shepherd Mall. Even that may not be possible and I am not sure whether that is a safe area or not.


It's a decent area but there's not much more there that would improve your social outlets, IMO. I think the apartment is called Copperfield. There are probably lots of OCU students there for what it's worth.

Another idea: what if you ask your apt. manager if you can switch to month to month until they get it leased? They may actually like this option because they may be able to get a higher rent with a new tenant.

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## bchris02

> It's a decent area but there's not much more there that would improve your social outlets, IMO. I think the apartment is called Copperfield. There are probably lots of OCU students there for what it's worth.
> 
> Another idea: what if you ask your apt. manager if you can switch to month to month until they get it leased? They may actually like this option because they may be able to get a higher rent with a new tenant.


Sorry, that's not an option. I am unable to switch my lease to month to month. I asked them about that when I moved in because at the time I was considering going back to Charlotte. Moving downtown just isn't going to work for me right now. And about Copperfield, even though it's not in a walkable neighborhood, it at least is close enough to downtown and 23rd that I would have a lot easier access to things younger people will be doing vs everything being family oriented where I'm at now. But once again, moving downtown isn't an option until at lead next June.

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## betts

I must have ESPN!

Oklahoma Gazette SPORTS: Kickball is serious play

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## adaniel

> Sorry, that's not an option. I am unable to switch my lease to month to month. I asked them about that when I moved in because at the time I was considering going back to Charlotte. Moving downtown just isn't going to work for me right now. And about Copperfield, even though it's not in a walkable neighborhood, it at least is close enough to downtown and 23rd that I would have a lot easier access to things younger people will be doing vs everything being family oriented where I'm at now. But once again, moving downtown isn't an option until at lead next June.


An apartment lease is not as near as ironclad as you think. There are many ways to get out of it, although none of them cheap. My suggestion would be to sublet out your unit. Make sure you read your lease to make sure this is okay (it usually is), but you may have to offer a discounted rent and pay the difference out of your pocket to entice someone. Also you would have to trust them to not tear up the place since you are technically liable. Even still its cheaper than paying the fee associated to break a lease. 




> Honestly, in my experience, that attitude is surprisingly common among those that have lived in the metro for more than 20 years.
> 
> My wife and I are raising our family in the inner-city.  I have friends who are doing the same whose parents are long-time residents of the burbs.  We have been the recipients of subtle and not-so-subtle hints about our choice of neighborhood.


Some people are such nosy busybodies who cannot handle when someone deviates even slightly compared to their dull white bread lifestyle. If they weren't talking about your decision to living in-town, then they talk bad about your career choice, clothing, hair, or whatever else is GASP different from them. 




> Reading this explains a lot about some of Oklahomans' general backwardness, insularity, and basic lack of curiosity about the world. 
> 
> Thank God we at least have an alternative to that now, one that is growing and improving. Without it, our city would wither on the vine. 
> 
> Cities need to be competitive, and the total suburban model is not popular with Gen Y. Again, thanks to our citizens and leaders for having the foresight to create an urban alternative.


I sadly agree and work with a lot of people like this. Even now, too many people in OKC have a bad habit of trenching themselves in their suburban bubble after a certain age never to be heard from again. Its not so much these people never go downtown, but they don't even go out _at all_. Frankly if that's their choice, so be it. But a lot of these folks don't even realize they have an option. For too long it was once you hit adulthood in OK, either move to the burbs and start popping out your 2.4 kids or move away. It is fantastic that we now have more options in the way people want to live their lives, but it's going to take a while for the entire local populace to realize it.  Its getting better though.

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## bradh

bchris02, you've got a lot of good suggestions here, but please don't take this the wrong way...meeting new people and making new friends is like work.  they don't just come to your front door.  

Another thing I don't think I saw suggested was getting involved down at the boathouse.  Take a rowing class or something, or join a rowing team.  It's not so much sports as it is a lifestyle deal.  It's all there for the taking.

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## bluedogok

> Reading this explains a lot about some of Oklahomans' general backwardness, insularity, and basic lack of curiosity about the world. 
> 
> Thank God we at least have an alternative to that now, one that is growing and improving. Without it, our city would wither on the vine. 
> 
> Cities need to be competitive, and the total suburban model is not popular with Gen Y. Again, thanks to our citizens and leaders for having the foresight to create an urban alternative.


Those type of people exist everywhere, even in the largest of cities, for the most part they stay in their little life bubble. I knew much younger people than me who felt the same way in Austin, they thought anything on the other side of the river required a trip planned in advance. If they were North Austin people they never ventured into South Austin, most still had this vision of South Congress being like it was 20 years ago when it was the hooker and sleazy motel strip instead of what it is now. Some of these people were in architecture/interiors, people who you think would have a bit more open view of their own city. For the most part these were people who were born and raised in Austin, they never got out of town either unless it was to go drinking on the river. Many had never heard of the places that I went to ride in the Hill Country, I found that the most adventurous people in Austin were usually those who grew up some place other than Austin and moved there.

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## rxmom03

> Can anybody on here who is religious recommend churches that have active singles groups for people in their 20s, besides Crossings?  I have seen PeopleChurch recommended, which I haven't tried yet but plan to soon.  Any others?


I cannot comment with any experience on my churches young singles program--I am 51 and in the older singles group--but have you checked out Quail Springs Baptist Church?  I know I always see tons of people in your age group in between classes (there are classes both at 9:30 and 11 and a cafe area where people hang out between SS/church. The Singles Pastor is awesome and truly emphasizes relationships with others (friendships not dating). There are lots of ways to get involved, both in the Singles Dept and in the church as a whole and I will say that I have never felt uncomfortable or shuffled off in the corner here. I could talk forever about this, but will stop here ;-) Anyway, QSBC is an awesome church!

Mary

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## Bunty

> Those type of people exist everywhere, even in the largest of cities, for the most part they stay in their little life bubble. I knew much younger people than me who felt the same way in Austin, they thought anything on the other side of the river required a trip planned in advance. If they were North Austin people they never ventured into South Austin, most still had this vision of South Congress being like it was 20 years ago when it was the hooker and sleazy motel strip instead of what it is now. Some of these people were in architecture/interiors, people who you think would have a bit more open view of their own city. For the most part these were people who were born and raised in Austin, they never got out of town either unless it was to go drinking on the river. Many had never heard of the places that I went to ride in the Hill Country, I found that the most adventurous people in Austin were usually those who grew up some place other than Austin and moved there.


I found it hard to believe, but a friend of mine, who's from Altus, claims there are some people there who have never been out of the county.  Your comments makes it easier to believe.

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## bluedogok

> I found it hard to believe, but a friend of mine, who's from Altus, claims there are some people there who have never been out of the county.  Your comments makes it easier to believe.


It wouldn't surprise me, I was born in Altus and have some family left there that hasn't moved elsewhere like the rest of us.

One co-worker in Austin was from San Angelo, his uncle in Brown County had only been out of the county once in his life, his kids took him to a Cowboys game in the 70's. He hadn't left the county since.

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## Pete

> bchris02, you've got a lot of good suggestions here, but please don't take this the wrong way...meeting new people and making new friends is like work.  they don't just come to your front door.


Yes bchris, why weren't you at the OKCTalk gathering last Thursday??

We had a really good crowd -- at least 50 and it definitely skewed younger this time, which seems to be an emerging trend.  And, there were quite a few more women.

Completely free food from Iguana, free margaritas, beer, wine, and soft drinks and one of the most beautiful and unique -- and otherwise not readily accessible -- settings in all of OKC.  Plus, a large group of like-minded people who for the most part didn't know a lot of people there, either.  And many of them would no doubt describe themselves as somewhat introverted.

Good grief, even a certain 19 year-old met us out at Neighborhood Lounge later that night.

In other words, what better opportunity could you possibly hope for??


Sorry, but OKC in general is a pretty darn easy place to meet people.  Heck, one of the posters I had never met before Thursday came along with me for most of the day on Saturday in Norman, and we had a fantastic time.


Hate to call you out but lots of people have gone out of their way to help and I'm not seeing much if any effort on your part.  That's certainly your prerogative, but you can't exactly blame the community.

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## AP

> Yes bchris, why weren't you at the OKCTalk gathering last Thursday??
> 
> We had a really good crowd -- at least 50 and it definitely skewed younger this time, which seems to be an emerging trend.  And, there were quite a few more women.
> 
> Completely free food from Iguana, free margaritas, beer, wine, and soft drinks and one of the most beautiful and unique -- and otherwise not readily accessible -- settings in all of OKC.  Plus, a large group of like-minded people who for the most part didn't know a lot of people there, either.  And many of them would no doubt describe themselves as somewhat introverted.
> 
> Good grief, even a certain 19 year-old met us out at Neighborhood Lounge later that night.
> 
> In other words, what better opportunity could you possibly hope for??
> ...


Exactly what I wanted to say.

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## adaniel

> Sorry, but OKC in general is a pretty darn easy place to meet people.  Heck, one of the posters I had never met before Thursday came along with me for most of the day on Saturday in Norman, and we had a fantastic time.
> 
> 
> Hate to call you out but lots of people have gone out of their way to help and I'm not seeing much if any effort on your part.  That's certainly your prerogative, but you can't exactly blame the community.


I'm no Dr Phil or anything, but I detect a hint of social anxiety from him, so I have tried not to pile on in my posts. People like that are going to struggle anywhere. But yes I largely agree with this.

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## bchris02

Pete, I am sorry I didn't make it to the OKCTalk meetup.  I actually did want to go and had planned on it (even marked on my calendar) but I had to work late that day and it slipped my mind.  When I got on this forum later that night and remembered it had taken place I was figuratively smacking myself.  I'll do my best to make the next one whenever it is.




> I'm no Dr Phil or anything, but I detect a hint of social anxiety from him, so I have tried not to pile on in my posts. People like that are going to struggle anywhere. But yes I largely agree with this.


You guessed well, I actually do have social anxiety (or maybe extreme shyness).  It disappears once I know people though but when meeting new people it can be difficult.  When I lived in Charlotte I had a roommate my first year there and developed my social life through him and his friends, so that made it much easier.




> Agree. Chris, just come on down to Skinny's tonight. I'll start introducing you to everyone that walks in the door.


Cool man, I'll see if I can make it Thursday or Friday evening.

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## Pete

Chris, didn't mean to be so harsh it's just that we don't have these things very often and it was a unique opportunity because you had missed the one in August, everyone agreed that was a perfect type of thing for you to get more connected, then just by good fortune we had another one last week, and you missed that one too.

I really do wish you the best.  And I would highly recommend going down to Skinny's and meeting up with Sid as he's an incredibly nice guy and that place couldn't be more laid-back and friendly.

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## AP

> Chris, didn't mean to be so harsh it's just that we don't have these things very often and it was a unique opportunity because you had missed the one in August, everyone agreed that was a perfect type of thing for you to get more connected, then just by good fortune we had another one last week, and you missed that one too.
> 
> I really do wish you the best.  And I would highly recommend going down to Skinny's and meeting up with Sid as he's an incredibly nice guy and that place couldn't be more laid-back and friendly.


+1000 Skinny Slim's is, IMO, the best bar in all of OKC. Easiest place to meet random, fun people. You HAVE to stop by there some time.

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## metro405

ONLINE is the best way!!!

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## Plutonic Panda

> Yes bchris, why weren't you at the OKCTalk gathering last Thursday??
> 
> We had a really good crowd -- at least 50 and it definitely skewed younger this time, which seems to be an emerging trend.  And, there were quite a few more women.
> 
> Completely free food from Iguana, free margaritas, beer, wine, and soft drinks and one of the most beautiful and unique -- and otherwise not readily accessible -- settings in all of OKC.  Plus, a large group of like-minded people who for the most part didn't know a lot of people there, either.  And many of them would no doubt describe themselves as somewhat introverted.
> 
> *Good grief, even a certain 19 year-old met us out at Neighborhood Lounge later that night.*
> 
> In other words, what better opportunity could you possibly hope for??
> ...


Haha, yeah that's me!!! lol

Bchris, would've been really nice to meet you though!  :Smile:

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## Spartan

> I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte.  I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me.  However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte.  The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people.  I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts.  I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years.  I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff.  So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.
> 
> I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte).  I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte.  I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way.  How else is there to meet people in this city?  I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte.  Maybe its better here and need to face my fear.  Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.
> 
> Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche.  For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?


I think you need to get involved with causes, date women who have friends, volunteer at places, do something crazy, and resort to drinking when all else fails. Try the Parrish in Plaza if you're religious.

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